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The Big Sleep: Future

by Golden Ghost

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released August 16, 2019

All songs written by Laura Goetz.
Published by Epifo, ASCAP / Golden Ghost Music, ASCAP.
Recorded and produced by Laura Goetz in Boulder, CO and Endicott, NY.
Mastered by Evan Bradford in Los Angeles, CA.
Celso plays viola on tracks 1, 7, and 10.
Pogo sings on track 3.
© and ℗ Epifo Music.
All rights reserved.


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Track Name: Two Universes
Killer Whale: This one life bore a myth all its own
And the myth bore the mystery
Whoever found it, all would follow
As if it was their own

Several years before the severance of time
When the screens sieved the body from the mind
She found it, and they followed
But the changes had their day

In the palm of my hand
Right here

universe melts and facets
Dark ages and shining moments

Little Rabbit: I stood between two universes
Didn’t belong to either one anymore
Alone floating in the space where we let ourselves go
Ain’t I a ghost if no one sees me, what could be
If only . . .

Killer Whale: Death lost in order of fear and desire
when satisfied wanted to know
what lies beyond the edge

form lost in order to push through the prism
they wanted to feel the bones lying in the earth again

Little Rabbit: killer whale
what is it like out there?
will I even know
when the end comes
bending towards the glow
wanted to feel the sun warm their hearts again

Killer Whale: Return to life!
Was it hard to take the hardening of space
Did you understand Why?

Return to life!
I see your broken hands taking form in mine
Did it devastate being made to take
Your place again in endless life?
Endless life from a boundless light

Little Rabbit: Will I ever, will I ever, will I ever know?

If I found it, would they follow
Or leave me to strike out alone—
To feel the earth again?

Now memory’s trodden-down strawberries
There’s only this I see—remembering phosphenes
Clouds on the cobblestones
And the light forms
The towering vine
The waking dream
Of endless life from boundless light
Boundless light from endless life . . .
Track Name: Immortal
Must’ve left there on a dark ship
My eyes falling open to a new day
When they shut the door to the big sleep
We just kept on wandering lives

Must’ve stayed that way for a little while
Tiny down creature watching the light
Everywhere you look hatches are falling open
Bearing life with little sighs

They stand all day at the cherry laurel
Pondering the way, immortal
A monument that dipped in the brushes
A subtle fostal from an old soul

Who found the story for her own light
And every hell she’d ever been through

The singularity broke us apart
Severing the tendons connecting our hearts
Before we had a chance to stand
We’re crumbling again
Life’s light hit harshly
But we never died

Must’ve been a dark march into the future
No memories to guide me
No signs no golden powers
Just teeth a little brown at the junctures

This universe I was born to
Won’t lift you up all on its own
It’s a slow apocalypse
Full of places to into

Must’ve chanced on a light beam bouncing through the stars
One in a million easy and free
Rose to unlikely heights but
Ain’t I a ghost if it’s vanished from my mind?

Why do you wait for me?
I am no one
And so far away

Why do you count on me?
I am no one.
Track Name: Killer Whale's Dream
The mirror was clear and we passed through easily
You and me, no sunlight, no fog

One billion lives of sand brushed off our shoulders
We seemed to know each other still

My sister the silent one it’s coming from afar
Across a wasteland set to perfect order

Just past the roses, eating up the light
The end, bathed in the night
The way, lit by a black moon

I knew we were friends of the edge
steady as church bells swaying with all their might
against the chaotic din of life

Then you doubting me said brother I’ve been up early
But time keeps on moving faster
The lightning in my veins pushes toward the future
I’m trembling all the time
I’m blind to roses in a wasteland
In a ground white with bone

But be my friend of the edge
I wish we had more time
Track Name: Precipice
In the center of the universe
There’s a precipice
Where I would dangle my legs
Let ‘em hang out in space

In the center of the universe
There’s an infinite drop
Where if I leap on a whim
No one knows where I would go

But the rest of my days
Curl ‘em back to honest ground
Though every inch of this place
Wants to melt away

Cause the edge is the knife
Cause the edge is the middle
Where we battle the muses and they open their hands
Touching a line to the wide open mind
To the void, drag me along,
away somewhere, from the hall of mirrors
Where I’m not ashamed about being alive
If I’m even alive . . .

On the edge of the precipice
There’s a pinprick pool
Warm and immaculate
Quiet as the night in the forgotten place

I look to the stars
Endless but not enough
The perfection of all things, right here
Had to cut me like a knife.
Track Name: Fata Morgana
Off in the distance I see a shape
Like a palace in the sky
Tugging the knots inside of a body
The natural divide

But it’s usually just of reach
So I look back to the screen
But I saw you walk straight out of a memory
And I was keen to follow

I recall from from back in the dream
Whenever we first meet I talk too freely
I give up the game right away

Under the stairs are the borderlands
Where I’m not smiling
Heavy and hiding
Oh, if you’d stay a few more hours
Shape shifter, I know you can

Where you gaze the whole world changes
I see it passing over me again

Off in the distance I see a shape
Like a fortress in the sky
A question mark inside of a body
Opens its horrors
Spinal cords
Lips of the roses
Eater of corpses
Hold up my hands in the bestial den
Enough of this golden skin

Well lure me in let the rest dissolve
On your home planet we battle with space
To make a vacuum of our amends
I tell myself that separation
Is a kind of touching
When you are gone

I sit upon the twilit shore
Wait for the vision to reappear
Your castle on the horizon
Track Name: Dying To The World Again
When you left me my mind wouldn’t stay
Letters and numbers were figures with nothing to say
The night filled with people all going nowhere
I stopped asking the time or the way

Amidst the bustle I carved out a space
Sat heavy like a stone
Who tries to call me out into the world
Cannot charm me, will never wile me away
Ain’t I a ghost if there’s nothing to say?

Dying to the world again, albatross
Never would catch a whale and anchor home
Track Name: After The Anthropocene
When I’m alone this is where love goes
bouncing through the universe in song
I’ve changed scenes through the screens,
The stories all shared between

We saw the end of the anthropocene
Every drop of blood lost could I carry on?
These stories passed down to me
And banished from my memories

Hiding the way encoded
In a meager untrustworthy skin
I paint these pictures to tease you
That you might (also) find it within

At the liminal moment
Before the transformation
You could find infinity there
Or just another beginning
No rites, just passage
No one to tell us where to go

When I’m alone this is where love goes
out the pores, into the universe
Where’s the disease, without a body?
for love to wrestle within?
As the void becomes life

I’m slow against space and time
Too soft against a force I don’t believe in
When will nothing be proven?
Must it all be taken away?
Must everything be taken away?

At the liminal moment
Before the transformation
Underwater, seeing stars
Floating by the law
Resisting by a secret song
Returning in a new skin
One we’d desired or sinned against
And forgotten once again

At night the shadows, shadows of your knots
Whipped apart in alarm
Seeing life, no longer in a line
Please don’t tell anyone!

Omnascent, atomized by fear
Little rabbit in the barren field
Pulling shapes I’ve never seen before
Please don’t let her find me anymore!

Where does love go when I’m alone
When the lights go out and the darkness starts to glow
It circles back around, a knife in my side
Please don’t tell anyone!

In the morning I get angles, no one to break them
Soft blue yellow and green
But the angels hoist me up to the fountain,
To feed me, to keep me alive.

At the liminal moment
Before the transformation
Middle Orbit seeking the big sleep
Human seeking the end
Track Name: Ash Planet
Oh, pilgrims, take a look around
Don’t you remember how it used to be?
You’re having a good time walking the highway lines
They go on forever now
You’ll never see the end
Ash planet,
Home to no one

You here with me, remembering
Visceral highway scene, near the end of the world
How I loved everything, except being here inside of me
Dust bunny, volcano
Braving the landlocked life for a moment
Touching outside, colors
Rise and sway, rotate and wade
Arms raised, you and me
In Heaven, the forgotten place

In a pool of water
The two of us flashing back at us
We sink below, heavy boats
Unsound dragging each other down
Shivering ‘neath the undulating waves
We bob and stray

Love was the rise of the full moon, the tide coming in toward the unknown,
Falling back again
Buried in your waves, killer!
But I was above you, out of breath, I left you there alone
The end of my road
The end of my road, so quiet and still

When past and future strike they crumble
We can find the way appear there soft and clear
A mirror soft and clear

Oh pilgrims, take a look around
Don’t you remember how it used to be?
Rise and sway, rotate away
In heaven, The forgotten place
Oh, heaven!
Track Name: No Roses
It’s amazing
I get sick with joy
Spill out the insides
To the void

BOOM! of a lightning strike
On the inside

But what do I want?
This joysick, a bright light, this featherweight feeling
This kindness
This knowing all the thoughts in your head?

No, I ain’t free
Take a look over the edge
There’s nothing I’ve ever known before.

There’s no roses no anchor no pot there to piss in
No soft and no sweet no emotional release
No way to turn back now, no meeting the masses no
Roses no wasteland no nothing
That I’ve ever known before

No, the vision’s forgotten without such immersion
To lose all the longing to be in the world
I never saw the leaves change before the trees were bare
Just the wind at my back and a chill in the air

Do you think this is one thing, and illusion another?
There’s something unknown in an unblinking stare

And against all odds kindness sits down in the middle
And lifts up the gloom with her warmth and her light
And when you are calm and forgotten the winter
She’ll speak in your ear with a chilling whisper

There’s no roses no enemies no marching armies
To fight against no one to point when you fall
There’s nowhere to turn back to no bloody battles
No roses no wasteland no nothing
That I’ve ever known before

I’ve made pure the shadows
I emptied the shelves
I’ve swept up the floor
Made a wasteland of life

You don’t know what lack is, this universe
Is a bottomless, blossoming
fearsome and colorful BOOM!

And Yyou go on forever tryin’ to get beneath it all
And you fall, and you fall, and you fall . . .
Transcending the prophecy
Track Name: Little Rabbit No. 3
These days I wake up early and I go to bed on time
And when I see my mother I run up to her side
I was wrong.
I always return.

I woke up like a newborn with old songs in my head
Banished to the fields again, the innocent's dread
Late patch of summer strawberries

My mind is a smooth and seamless wall without a hold to climb or crawl
I blend into the scenery, I hide from you,
Through the ages, tucked in time
I don't mind

The future
Sleeps close to me

Do you want to know where we have been, the severed paths they mend their threads
We swept it all behind us by the end of the day
So we could sleep and not worry
About what's followed us here
Though our racing hearts only kept us warmer

And there's the fiercest sorrow in letting go
Even if you don't know
But I let go into that warmth

The future
Sleeps close to me

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